Goodbye August

>> Aug 31, 2005

Little thumbsucker.. hehe.. no we don't "allow" it.. we usually yank the thumb out and put a pacifier in.. will be easier to break the paci habit than the thumb habit later down the road.. but he definitely has a high sucking quota he must achieve daily..
these last days have gone by so quickly that I honestly could cry. Which I've done a lot of lately. I went grocery shopping.. came home.. cried. I really don't know why.. my husband is a saint. He just hugged me and let me. Amazing man.
I found out everyone at work is pregnant (ok not everyone) .. I think I'm going to stay home forever.. I don't know what's in the water but it hasn't been long enough to risk going back and getting pregnant.. I can't even tell the kids to vaccuum their rooms without shuttering...
Oh but most importantly.. my ANKLES ARE BACK!!!! Now if I can give the second butt I've gained to someone I'd be fine! LOL... anyone else notice how dry my hair looks in that picture above?

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Get it together??

>> Aug 30, 2005


Dear husband went to work today. Called at lunch to check on me. He's so good to me. I was fine ... no mental breakdowns.. (I'm so proud of me)

Of course I did miss the kids dentist appointments. Can't have it together all the time ya know?

Other than that pretty uneventful day.

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I can't drive 55! Or 45, 35,.. heck not even 5 :(

>> Aug 29, 2005



My husband stayed home today, not suppose to drive & Zach is having some eye problems. & Austin had an appointment so he was going to have to leave early anyway.. We found a pediatrician.. isn't finding doctors like throwing a dart.. not sure what you'll get.. Luckily the Ped. was actually comforting... he was thorough but fast so Zach's displeasure was short lived.. he said it's just an eye infection and actually pretty common. He also said since he was here now we could skip the 2 wk appointment but he wanted him brought in to the office for a quick weight check.. but it'd be no charge they just want to make a note in the chart to make sure he's gaining.. (insert a sigh of relief)
So Zach & Austin had appointments today. I got my disability & insurance forms turned in to my doctor for him to fill out. Picked up a couple items at Target. Feel like so much was accomplished. I also made future doctor's appointment and got part of my room picked up from the confusion of having the basement in my bedroom while we remodel.
At the moment Zach is sleeping in his bed.. for the first time. I believe it's the gift I received today.. a beautiful blue blanket from work.. it's so soft & fuzzy. I used it for a cover on the pack & play.. which is Zach's bed at the moment.. anyway he is out cold. We also realized we are using the wrong nipples for him.. which is so strange to me.. I don't remember this with Kyle.. he just drank from whatever.. but Zach wasn't getting enough fast enough from the nipples we were using.. he would fall asleep from exhaustion half way through feedings and take so long that by the time he finished one bottle.. he would be asleep for a short period and be up again to eat it was nearly non-stop eating.. so we thought but he wasn't getting anything so it wasn't really eating.. just attempting to :(
Tomorrow I'm going to make the rest of my doctor's appointments.. clean some more.. as soon as I can get to my scrap area I can send out my thank yous that are only 2 months late :( I'd also like to take the kids to walmart to get school supplies but that isnt a MUST do.. only a if I feel up to it.

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Another outing!

>> Aug 28, 2005

Walmart again & lowes! Need 2x4s for the new master bedroom. It's coming along so nicely. I can't wait. Lately we've been spending more time with our kids. So moving our room over to this new room and making our old room a family room is going to be wonderful. Everyone is excited about it.. It's going to be so nice it will be crazy with everyone being so much closer physically.. I hope they understand how important family is.

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Our first outing!

>> Aug 27, 2005

Today Zack & I went on our first outing. Wasn't as long as I thought it would be but it was out of the house. Went to target & walmart.. we were going to walk around the mall but I think Dad is getting worn out LOL

Isn't that an awesome stroller?? :)

Zach also watched his first NASCAR race..

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TGIF!

>> Aug 26, 2005


Ok.. my dear loved one stayed home ..
when he called in I'm positive the term "mental" was used....

Not a lot happened.. just still trying to get into the swing of things. Lots of pain today.. again think I over did things wednesday night.. (stupid girl I am) I can barely get up from a chair without letting out a whine. My chest hurts like you wouldn't believe.. I look like I have the world's worst boob job from the swelling.. and my ankles still have not gone down!! What happened to my dream of walking out of the hospital in my size 6 pants I had on last november.. ???
Zachary seems to be settling in a little. Unfortunately, it's not in his bed :( He does not like the flat pack & play and prefers pretty much anywhere else. Can he sleep upright for the next 18 yrs?
I love this picture. It reminds me of my mom. She always said that when a baby sleeps with its arms over its head that the baby was happy and content and felt safe. So whenever I see a baby sleep like this I think of her.

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Spilling over..

>> Aug 25, 2005


Hmm.. got milk? Oh my lord. If you don't know what engorgement is.. consider yourself the luckiest person alive.

I woke up this morning and by 9:30 was on the phone with my husband. I can not believe this person who SAID he loved me left me alone with four children. Does he not know what I went through?

Let's just say there wasn't much said in the phone call because it is physically impossible to sob and speak coherently at the same time.

Lucky for me he did come home that afternoon...... gotta love that man!

ps. notice the look on his face.. it's one I often get.. it's a loving tolerance kind of look isn't it? As if to remind me that as much as I put up with.. I still have the easier person to deal with LOL and I'll honestly admit it.. just not to him.

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What was I thinking..

>> Aug 24, 2005


This would be the reason I'm in so much pain.. I had a get together wednesday night to welcome Zach home.. it started with one person visiting and me ending with a let's just have everyone and get it done in one evening....
Famous last words. And I have to be the hostess with the mostess and stood for hours that night making sure everyone had what they needed..
Every discuss the intellectual attributes of a person and realize many times people can be very intelligent when it comes to traditional education.. books, computers, etc. But lack the common sense one would think they should have... it's as if the brain can only handle so much of one or the other but not both..

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Wowzers Wednesday


Aren't those feet big?? I'm sure dad is thinking they are the perfect size to press a NASCAR peddle with....

Ok.. all medication is officially worn off in it's entirety.. now the real pain is starting to kick in... thankfully I was given some ibuprofen. Dad's here and well.. it's kind of nice having someone else run all the errands and run to the store for whatever is needed. We also had a great family bonding by sitting and playing video games til late. Enjoying being in the same room.

Can't wait for the family room to be finished. I also can't wait for the pain to be finished....

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As promised.....

>> Aug 23, 2005


Zachary's first Tonka!

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Going home


I woke up early Tuesday. My husband must have also. He called.. wanted to come up but also I needed him to run some errands and my other son Austin had a doctor's appointment he could not miss. So the martyr that I am.. I insisted he not visit his worn out wife and son at the hospital but rather do the errands. (ok - reality check.. this meant I got the entire day to be at the hospital and have the baby to myself.. all I needed to do was order room service a couple of times.. it was like a hotel.. except better because I didn't even have to get up from the bed when the food came! and it was good food!)

Dad took the boys out on errands and doctor's appointments all day. Amanda was off shopping. I'd be upset she didn't insist on visiting me or being there when the baby comes home.. but if I had money.. I'd have gone shopping too.... LOL Around 4:30 I was finishing up my discharge.

My husband honored me with a new pair of shoes and quickly tossed the flip flops I had been living in for the last 6 months in the nearest garbage can. Unfortunately, according to the mean nurses the swelling can take a few weeks to go down.. but I gladly walked out in new more comfortable shoes.

It was like a limo ride! I sat in the back of the van next to Zachary.. and my chauffer drove me and the boys home.

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Monday's Child is Fair of Face

>> Aug 22, 2005


Zachary Evan is here!!!
8 pounds, 5 ounces
20.5 inches long..

After long last... at 9 am this morning I went in to the hospital to be induced. I guess the walking over the weekend did help some since I went in and was already almot 4 cm dialated and I really can't remember the other stats. Only that the nurse said "oh good!! you're almost half way there!" I was also having contractions which I couldn't even feel so that was wonderful. Sometime between 10 & 11, they decided to start me on pitocin.. then it began.. holy cow. I've heard of back labor but this.. this was nothing I ever imagined. I remember my first pregnancy and labor experience and the pain was really tolerable. This.. this is was.. each contraction brought tears to my eyes and I asked for an epidural at the first opportunity. I knew I wasn't going to be able to handle it for long. The nurse came in felt my stomach and we both knew the baby was turned sideways.. not the sideways where his head is in my side but that his back was not out front but rather on my right side and his feet curled up on my left.. she said often if the back isn't out front it causes back labor... so on came the drugs and off went my grimaces..

Around 3pm Tony & I were discussing how to organize and paint and decorate the soon to be family room and master bedroom. What type of furniture.. mainly. Dreaming up deck plans for the backyard and in rushes 3 nurses, followed by a doctor. We had taken our eyes off the monitor. Zack's heartrate was dropping with contractiosn and they lost it all together a few times.. a few times when they found it well it was so low I can't even think about it... Tony jumped up from the side of the bed and was on the other side of the labor & delievery room watching.. not really making eye contact too much but nor was I because I just felt surreal honestly ... all these people flipping me and turning me and moving the monitors and talking over me about the doctor being in the middle of a c-section next door and needing an internal monitor now.. then the heartrate went back to normal. It felt like forever and a day but was probably more like minutes.. After they staff was satisfied he was "stable" (very scary word mid-labor .. even if it is suppose to be a positive thing) So there I lay on my side because that's the position the baby stablized in..

My husband walked over to me and asked if I was ok. Of course the minute he rubbed my head I got teary and gave him a lame excuse that the oxygen mask I was now sporting was drying my eyes out. I don't think he bought it but he didn't say anything. The same doctor came back in to administer some medicine. Apparently, my blood pressure was now dropping too low.

A few minutes later another doctor came in from the c-section going on next door.. to insert a fetal monitor internally. He then pronounced me at an 8 and asked if my doctor had been called. The nurse had checked me just before, I had still been at a 4 so they theory is that the rapid change most likely caused the distress to Zachary. They called my doctor who rushed over.. when she got there I was at 10. Due to the epidural (wonderful drug I tell you) I couldn't even feel my contractions.

So there I lay ever so calmly flat on my back with the doctor monitoring my contractions.. internally. Husband on one side, nurse on the other.. couple other people in the room.. My doctor gave me the "ok here comesone push" I did. She said good job.. but there was no baby so in my opinion.. not good enough LOL. Second one came and she said push. Baby's heartrate dropped signifcantly, I remember hearing an 80. The doctor made a comment.. basically she wasn't messing around with Zachary so she asked for the vaccuum and prounced he would be born on the next contraction.

I can not even describe the feeling of having 8lbs and 5ozs vaccuumed out of you. There wasn't any pain at the time but holy cow I remember thinking "that is going to hurt later". But out he came. He cried, Dad got all excited.. I cried. We all tried to guess his weight. The doctor was 1 ounce off.

My in-laws apparently were waiting at the hospital. They asked if they could go get the kids. They did. It was the greatest thing. They allowed everyone in the room and we had our first family picture. It was wonderful.

The kids went home after a few hours.. my nurse came in to introduce my new night nurse who wanted me to get up and shower. I looked at my husband who was now looking rather ill... he hadn't eaten hardly anything all day and was now getting a headache and stomach ache.. I told him to go get the kids from his dad's and go home and I'd see him tomorrow. I took my shower.. they brought me Zachary and I just laid in bed holding him alone. That was really wonderful.

I was up more that night than Zachary was.. all the water I retained the last nine months was saying bye-bye..

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Friday the 19th..

>> Aug 19, 2005

Ok these next few posts are going to be written on the 27th but I'm trying to keep the events chronological :)

Friday I left work for a doctor's appointment.. at the appointment my doctor gave me the final option of being induced monday or letting nature take it's course.. we discussed the risks and baby's size.. the unbelievable swelling.. low heart rate etc.. and I decided I'd take the first opportunity to end the pregnancy and get my baby as soon as possible.

Over the weekend I tried walking to see what would happen.. out and about with the husband. I love that man more than anyone will ever possibly understand.

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Yeah!!!

>> Aug 11, 2005

I am getting a new digital camera. A definite must have. My old one likes to make everything yellow. Watch out.. will be sending pictures galore now that I have the means!! Put in some OT and decided to splurge! Also got a fab deal.. gotta love pricewatch.com & Comp-U-Plus for having a great deal on the kodak i wanted!

9 days to go.. (well in an hour it'll be 9!)

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Two on tuesday

>> Aug 9, 2005

I swear I feel like I got such a load done at work today.. stayed over of course.. but it was nice to get a lot of things organized.

I stopped and got Wendy's for dinner.. Love that place! Today is my anniversary.. 2 years married to someone who still has the power to move me. Sometimes in a good way that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.. other times.. he moves me to tears. But what really gets to me about our relationship.. that no matter how things are.. I always feel like I belong here. I've never once doubted he is my forever.

Only 11 days to go! Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment and found out the baby is estimated at 7.5 lbs! Holy schmoly. I have nearly 2 wks which means average baby gaining a lb a week.. he'll be 9.5 lbs???

Epidural.. I need to make sure I can say that through gritted teeth.. maybe I should have it tattooed on my inner thigh?

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13 going on 30

>> Aug 6, 2005

I have 13 days left until my due date.. though it feels like 30. I had a doctor's appointment on Thursday... baby's heart rate was a little low so I got to have a NST done for the first time. That was interesting. I had to lay on my back which basically cuts off the circulation to my head.. which I feel is the reason I've been a ditz for the last two days... permanent damage?

After 40 mins and the world's worst popsicle, the doctor was satisified the baby's heart rate was low because the baby was at rest. I am now dialated to just over 2. I wonder what the average number of weeks are from a 2 dialation to birth. I know everyone is different blah blah blah.. but I love statistics and numbers.

I have to go back into the doctor's on monday for another NST and an ultrasound. Just to check amnio fluid. I honestly think I'm leaking.. so maybe monday night I'll be staying over at Le Hospital.

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