Mama's Losin' It

Masterful Scrapbook Design is about journaling this month.  I'm about journaling 24/7, so I'm in heaven with ideas and inspiration.  One of the great introductions made this month was Mama's Losin' It I think it was during Dina Wakley's interview about journaling.  Anyway, you sign up for the emails and get a few prompts this is one that jumped out at me today:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". -Maya Angelou

I am suppose to read the quote and let it inspire my post today.  Unfortunately this isn't going to be a love fest so consider yourself warned.  (There was another prompt about pets but I figured I'd spare everyone the puppy talk...)  I've actually been thinking a lot lately on the idea that my legacy will be more how I make my children feel than the things I teach them.  I know many times people talk of "if my mom taught me one thing, it was...".  But more often, people remember their childhood as a whole.. how did you feel?

Did you have a happy childhood, a stressful one? I had a good childhood.  Even with the issues we had, my dad's alcoholism, not having a ton of money, and many other negatives; I still look back at my childhood and consider myself one lucky gal.  We took a lot of vacations, we were exposed to a lot of things.  I had amazing friends that were my friends from the time I was 8 until well after 18.  I had the same teachers my brother did, and they would spend the first day every year going "you're Mike's sister??" (we were a tad different when it came to school, he .. uhm socially active class clown, me type A head of the class nerd).

Where am I going with this?  I am paralyzed by that last part; 'people will never forget how you made them feel'.  I suppose in the mind of a positive person you assume it's to express that people will never forget how happy you made them.  In my mind, I worry how miserable I make my children.  I don't think they aren't happy but I worry they aren't happy enough.

Lately it feels like too much time is spent nagging them to do things or explaining why they can't do what they want because they didn't do what I was nagging about in the first place.  I get that life has phases, and that it's the overall relationship that is key and not moments.  Maybe it's from the 50 questions that I answered before, but I think.. if they lost the ability to make new memories tomorrow.. and only had the memories we've already made... what would they think of their childhood?  Would this be something I'm happy and proud of, will they tell their kids their mother always made them feel loved, their childhood was happy, they never felt left out, neglected, unfavored.

I'm not looking for a "you're a good mom", I don't think I'm a bad mom.  I like that I think of these things I think self assessment leads to self improvement and that's a good thing.  I think I'm going to like these prompts...