Another TSR Challenge..

>> Apr 26, 2008

This was a life story challenge Jenn posted.. I believe it’s from Ali’s book? But I chose to do one that the story is not a happy one.. here’s the journaling:

 

On the heart – left page:  On September 24, 1998 it was time, my mom passed away with my dad by her side.

 

 

Right page:

I don’t remember the exact date but I will always remember the moment clearly.  The moment my mom took a turn for the worst.  It was a quiet evening at home.  Tired, my mom went to bed and a few moments later, I heard the quiet panic in my dad’s voice as he called for me.  As soon as I entered the bedroom, I knew it wasn’t good.  My mom’s breathing was so labored my chest hurt watching her try to breath.  My dad told me to call 911.  I hesitated.  My mom didn’t want any life extending measures taken I knew the EMTs have to attempt to resuscitate especially since a formal DNR hadn’t been drafted yet.  In this moment of hesitation, I looked at my dad.  The look in his eyes, he was not ready, even if my mom was.  I don’t know the exact reason, my dad, me my brother, denial.. I wasn’t ready?  I called 911.  The EMTs arrived stabilized my mom and transported her to the hospital, where she never left.  She spent the last weeks of her life in a cold bed around semi-strangers.  I do appreciate the closure we all received with these extra weeks, knowing it was the end helped us cherish them and know we had our chance to say good-bye.  However, there will always be a part of me that wishes I had called my brother, not 911.  That he came over and my mom died in her bed with her family surrounding her.

1 comments:

Lan April 29, 2008  

What a great page Tami, your journaling was so heartfelt and wrenching. It's good to have these moments documented and you did it very well. Your children will love to read it as they grow older. I never got to meet 3 of my grandparents and wished I had stories of their lives to read.

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